In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Feeling Healthy & Great), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares some insight regarding ways to take care of ourselves when we live a life that leads us toward exhaustion. She brings the latest research experiencing multiple stressors triggered by the COVID-19 pandemic—such as unemployment—and COVID-19-related media consumption are directly linked to rising acute stress and depressive symptoms across the U.S.
Dr. Foojan brings you Dr. David Burns, an adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine . Dr. Burns talks about his latest book “Feeling great”, and shares his latest approach in making you feel great within 2 hours. www.feelinggood.com
Then Dr. Foojan speaks to Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, a Licensed Social Worker, and the author of “The Final 8th”. Bridgit talks about how having a voice dialogue with different part of us allows us to feel unified and healthy. www.nyvoicedialogue.com
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Transitions), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares some insight regarding grief and loss. She brings the latest research about how Smartphones Can Predict Brain Function Associated With Anxiety and Depression. Then she speaks to Dr. Paria Hassouri, author of “Found in Transition”. They talk about her experience with the transition of her transgender daughter. http://www.pariahassouri.com Visit my website – http://www.FOOJAN.com
I like to talk about many concepts that are around loss and death.
I never forget my shock and then horror, fear, utter level of sadness and grief that I experienced 19 years ago this day as I watched the planes go through the twin towers. I remember watching the reruns of the attacks all day and feeling retraumatized over and over again. A sense of safety crashed. The horror of waiting for more to come and the paranoia of who’s done it and when will it be done again creeped in. This was a people to people attack, so there was a sense of anger and blame that creeped in toward human beings. I remember although I had quit cigarettes for 5 years, that day I decided to smoke as if it was ok to self destruct, since human beings were going to destroy themselves anyway. Obviously that irrational thinking was short lived.
So what was the difference for me between Sept. 11, 2001 with the Jan. 14 1994 earthquake which devastated Northridge, California. The San Fernando valley looked like a war zone with so much destruction. I felt fear, utter powerlessness and holding on until it was all over, then the after shock kept coming which created more horror. Yet, it appeared that it would be finally over and that the destructions were done already and it was time to recreate and rebuild. This was a non personal nature realignment and although there was frustration about the inconvenience and the destruction, there was no blame, so our world became about helping and building.
Yesterday was the suicide prevention day. according to the World Health Organization, every 40 seconds someone in the world takes their own life, which means 800,000 people a year. The rate of suicide in the world has risen 35% and it has risen at the time of the pandemic.
What does a person need to think and feel like to want to take their own life. As I have worked with many suicidal clients for the past 30 years, utter feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. A sense of resignation about their own abilities or thinking that any ability would not really matter. A sense of loss of meaning or purpose. How each person would get to this point varies.
So, whether a person’s life is threatened by another human being, act of nature, accident, losing someone close to death, or one chooses to end their own life, everyone experiences facing death throughout their life. There is an existential anxiety and dread that comes with facing one’s own mortality. The meaning of life and the purpose gets reexamined. Values get reprioritized. Attention goes inward and then focuses on what really matters to that person. Mostly, what is left can become precious, or loose all meaning.
How do you handle the thought of death or facing death?How would you prioritize differently if you were facing death?What values would you uphold and commit to if you were facing death?
Now, act on the values that you prioritize and live every moment of your life as if it could be the last.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Addiction, Challenges & Success), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares some insight with you regarding grief and loss. She interviews Dr. Donald Meichenbaum- one of the founders of cognitive behavioral therapy and voted One of the ten most influential psychotherapists of the 20th century. The author of “Treating Individuals with Addictive Disorders – A Strengths-Based Workbook for Patients and Clinicians.” Talking about the narration that an addict continues to live by, emotional, cognitive and interpersonal coping skills that needs to be learned in the process of recovery. http://www.melissainstitute.org. Then she interviews Janet McKee a speaker, bestselling author, high performance consultant and CEO of SanaView. Her new book is Stressless Success: The Surprising Secrets to a Life of Passion, Purpose and Prosperity. They talk about how to envision success and align your goals and planning with emotion added to experience the fulfillment and passion as you move toward success. www.stresslesssucess.com.
This week I wanted to share with you the emotional process of loss.
Many people are experiencing loss at this time in their life. Many are grieving for the loss of a loved one to COVID-19. Others are grieving their job, career, business, or their identity with it. Some are grieving the freedom that they experienced before, and some feel the loss of socialization that appeared effortless. Whoever has lost a mate to separation, divorce, or death has experienced an extremely painful experience.
There is an experience of sadness that takes over to force one to move inward and pay attention to oneself. For some, the sadness turns into agitation and anger. At times there is feeling anxiety about an unknown, unfamiliar, and uncertain future without what was there before. There is a natural process of bargaining for bringing back what was lost or the person who no longer is in our life.
When the loss is happening, the anger naturally shows up to protect and fight to get back what was suppose of stay. When the anger does not work and we can’t have what or whom we lost, a sense of utter powerless and hopelessness creeps in. I think this is the hardest part of the grief process. When this phase becomes intolerable, one goes back to bargaining again, but nothing brings back what is gone.
It takes another way of thinking and being with the reality of life as is. Acceptance of the loss and what that loss has brought for our life is the path to take. Life changes, let’s look at how the change will make growth possible.
Hardship ignites resilience. Life goes on beyond loss. There are other gains that will show up. But first, attend to the grief. Cry as much as you need. Honor your sadness. Allow time to go within and nurture your self. Meditate daily. Journal daily. Write a letter to the person you lost or the identity you lost and share all you need to share. Assign a time per day that you only attend to your grief. Begin envisioning a future beyond the time of loss that brings out the best of you.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (No Matter what you can Succeed ), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares some insight with you regarding uncertainty. Dr. Foojan interviews Nina Boski, producer, speaker, coach and the host of “Merlin Monroe, behind the icon”. We talk about Merlin’s childhood trauma and success. And what we can learn from her www.behindtheicon.com . Then Susie Moore the author of Stop Checking Your LikesWe will talk about how to let go of your need to be liked and handle rejections, and no matter how you were raised, create success in your life. www.susiemoore.com
This week I have been noticing how we face uncertainty vs certainty.
I noticed how in different realms and areas of our life we are constantly facing uncertainty. I also noticed that what we call “certainty” in the present time is also only temporary until the changes happen which creates uncertainty.
We come to face the uncertainty of our health with the Covid-19, and even if we don’t have it today, it does not guarantee that we won’t have it tomorrow. So the certainty of today does not extend itself to the future. All we could ever say about what we have, think or feel is “until further notice”. I have been working with people who are starting their intimate relationships and are uncertain about their choices and how the future would be for them. Even with the best of relationships, no one can guarantee that the status quo will remain no matter how awesome it is. So, all that we could say is that it is “until further notice”. We can see this in every area of life. Life is great or life sucks “until further notice”.
So how do we live with the anxiety that gets created for us with the uncertainty of the future? Most people hold a positive vision for the future to inspire them to move forward, however their anxieties might take over looking at all the obstacles that show up for them not to achieve their goals . Everyone at times also experiences envisioning all possible negative outcomes, or even worst case scenarios. Human beings are future oriented beings and have a tendency to project the past and the present results to the future to protect themselves or inspire and motivate themselves. However, we know inevitably that all we have as certain is what we have in the present moment and what we created in the past. Maybe that is why we insist on projecting the results of certain times to the uncertain times of the future, in order to make an attempt of creating certainty in the future.
A healthy way of dealing with uncertainty is to enjoy the certainty that is in the present moment and know that you have the skills to handle uncertainties, and you have the ability to learn the skills that are needed for all that shows up. I assert this notion with certainty (haha) since the reality is that since you were born, nothing was certain, and guess what, you have made it so far.
If you are not liking what is happening in the present moment in your life, yet it is certainly a reality that you have to deal with, then you would be doing something to change to a desired outcome or hoping for a change to happen. Which again puts you on the path of uncertainty.
How to cope with uncertainty?
Embrace what is certain in the present moment.
2. Detach from the need to hold on to certainty.
3. Trust your ability to handle the uncertainty that life will bring.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Choosing Love wherever you are), Dr. Foojan Zeine brings you the last of the series of conversations with Dr. David Burns, He is a professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, and the best selling author of “Feeling Good” and “Feeling Great” books. Talking about ways to open up your negative beliefs. http://www.feelinggood.com Her second guest is GARY HEIL, an internationally acclaimed expert in the fields of leadership, management, and organizational culture and the author of “Choose Love Not Fear: How the Best Leaders Build Cultures of Engagement and Innovation That Unleash Human Potential”. Gary shared the result of many years of working with Fortune 100 companies and teams, how he saw that caring, love and vulnerability was the key to keep the team motivated to create a meaningful cause for result that they were creating. http://www.garyheil.com
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Setting Intentions), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares a tip regarding ways that dominating in relationships can destroy any relationships. Dr. Foojan brings you a 3rd of the 4 conversation series with Dr. David Burns, He is a professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine, and the best selling author of Feeling Good http://www.feelinggood.com and Feeling Great books. Talking about ways to open up your negative beliefs. Then she bring you Kim Stanwood Terranova, a counselor, coach, speaker, and the author of “The technology of intention – Activating the power of the universe within you”. With Kim we will be talking about ways you set your intentions to manifest who you really are. https://kimstanwoodterranova.com
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Results are based on Beliefs. Choose them), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares a tip regarding how to create an adult to adult relationship with our mate vs. a parent child relationship. Dr. Foojan shares a conversation with Dr. David Burns, the professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University and the author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy about negative beliefs – http://www.feelinggood.com. Dr. Foojan also speaks with Darren Gold, who is a managing partner at The Trium Group, where he advises and coaches CEOs and leadership teams at many of the world’s most innovative companies, and the author of “Master Your Code: The Art, Wisdom, and Science of Leading an Extraordinary Life. “ talking about ways to become the author of your own life, choose your identity and results. www.darrenjgold.com