Love and Abundance promote cooperation and constructing a better world.

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This week has been a week of love, openness and therefore an abundance of generosity from the surrounding.

Have you noticed when you are closed, upset, tired, non-trusting, or angry, you may not be able to receive the love and abundance that is offered to you from your surroundings?  You may not see it or appreciate it.  Have you noticed that when you are open, calm, trusting, and in gratitude, you will notice what is there from the world around you and from people who are around you?

You may even notice that the comfort of you have a home to live in, furniture to use, warm water to take a shower, a fridge full of food, a car to drive, and clothes to wear, all and all is an accumulation of work of many people who work hard for you. You may notice how your parents, mate, children, co-workers, and neighbors offer you their love and service.  You can begin appreciating how you contribute to this network of resources and appreciate everyone who contributes to you directly or indirectly.

When you face the world with love and openness, you begin to realize how lucky you are to be a part of such a great and abundant network.  This view may entice you to put your all in creating a better world for yourself and everyone around you by sharing your love and kindness.

Choose to connect to the network of Love and Abundance instead of Hate, greed, and destruction.  Being a part of the Love and Abundance network will bring you joy, connectedness, and happiness.  Being a part of Hate, Greed & Destruction will ultimately destroy you since there will always be someone who can compete better than you and destroy you.  Living in the Love and Abundance state promotes cooperation and constructing a better world.

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Hang in there – Hardship builds resiliency

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This week I have been working with how experiencing hardship, although it feels and seems so hard as one goes through it, ultimately builds major emotional and behavioral skills which become a key factor for not only survival but also creating a better and more efficient life.

I was pondering on my own childhood and teen years and have been working this week with many of my clients who have gone through hardships, whether it was events that happened to them while they had no part in creating it, an illness, or they actually acted in a way that produced a painful result for them.  Without a doubt at the time of experiencing hardship, one might think: “Why me”, “Not Fair”, “it should have not happened to me”, ” I didn’t do anything to deserve this”, “can’t handle this, it is too much for me”, etc… Feelings of fear, sadness, grief, anger, anxiety, disappointment, powerlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, shame, etc. might be felt.  Major avoiding or dismissive behaviors might be used automatically as self-defense mechanisms.  However, courage and resiliency begin to operate and surface to support moving forward and overcome the meaning and the emotion felt.

Usually, as time passes, you begin to assign new meaning and contain the emotions toward the acceptance of all that happened.  You will see that what happened although it effected your life in a negative way, it also enriched your life with major skills and extended the outlook that could benefit yours and other’s life.

Go back and look at the negative and even traumatizing events of your life and write down how they benefited you.  Write how they added to your life view.  See how the skills that you had to learn at that time is being used consistantly for the betterment of your life.  You will be amazed at your growth.  While you are visualizing the past, remind the self which was going through the harsh ordeal that you have survived it.  Nurture yourself, pat yourself on the back, acknowledge yourself for coming through, and honor your growth.

Did you make a mistake? Who Paid?

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This week I have been concentrating on what happens to us when we make a mistake.

Remember the last mistake you claimed.  What do you do when you make a mistake?  Do you claim it or do you usually see someone else at fault? Do you immediately justify it and defend your actions? Do you avoid acknowledging it and quickly distract yourself and others from the result? Do you try to mask it and make sure that no one finds out? Do you blame yourself and be punitive in your head toward yourself? Do you make it about others and how they made you make those decisions?

Mistakes are the decisions and actions that we do which at the time of acting upon a declared decision with the information that was at hand or presented to us was the right decision and action. However, when the result is not as we desired, then we call it a mistake.  Some mistakes only effect you. You are the one who has to pay the price.  Some mistakes also effect others, that means that they also have to pay an emotional, cognitive, monetary, or time as the price with or for you.

Many people are not aware of the price they create for others around them when they make a mistake and when confronted with it by others, get very defensive and upset about why others are rubbing it in their face.  Not realizing that other people actually get more upset when they have to pay for someone else’s mistake.

So, When you make a mistake,  CLAIM it.  Acknowledging that you are responsible for the result that you created.  Yes, you made your choice of action based on the presented information at the time and did not have, nor seek for more or broader information. Therefore, you have the result that you have.

Let’s learn from it and move on.  Not so fast!

See who else your mistake effected.  You also need to clean it up with them. Acknowledging that you are aware that they have to also pay a price for your action will truly be appreciated.  Ask for forgiveness from yourself and others.  See if you can do anything to repay or ease the pain you have caused for others. See how you can clean up what has gotten created for yourself.

Now, Let’s learn and move on.  You mostly learn from what you call mistakes.  If you created all the results you wanted the first time you attempted at it, then you are not extending yourself to new realms in life, since life does not come with an instruction manual.

Let’s play and learn – Let’s fall, get up, wipe yourself and jump again – Let’s Live Life to the fullest.

Love

Foojan

What to do when FEAR shows up

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I have been working with fear this week.  It shows up instantly, it lingers, it catches you in your dreams and wakes you up from it.  It is a strong emotion that at times debilitates people.

The emotion of fear is a signal for you to take care of yourself. It is telling you that either there is danger around you in the present moment or by some of your decision making danger will show up in the future.  Trying to tell you that uncomfortableness is around the corner. Do something NOW.

Fear will show up in your body, your breathing will become shallow, your stomach, shoulders, jaws, or whole-body might get weak or experience pain.  Some people become numb and lose functionality, some will ignore it and have anxiety or panic attacks, some will ignore it and have nightmares or get insomnia. For some who ignore their fear, they find themselves not being attentive at all to daily activities and lose their productivity momentum.

So, what do we do with this important emotion?  Well, respect it, listen to it, see what the message is for you. And… Don’t let it stop you….

After understanding the message of the fear, let’s do a reality check with what really is at stake.  Is the fear real? Is the fear due to something that is happening now, or just a fear from the past, or a future that has not happened? Is the fear from the days that you did not have the skills to handle what is in front of you and your system has not integrated all that you have learned?  Is there a skill that you actually have to learn to handle what is in front of you? Can you see what the worst-case scenario is and see if you can tolerate and survive it?

Is it a matter which there is no action needed and you just need to accept what is and come to terms with life?

Let’s now focus on your strength and resiliency and bring them into the picture and action.  With the strength, knowledge, wisdom, resources that you have today, how can you handle the matter that you are facing? Who can you get the support to handle what you need? What do you need to do to take care of yourself? What do you need to do to handle the situation?

Remember, Fear is a natural emotion and is there to protect you.  So, do a reality check and take care of yourself and what is needed. Use your power and courage to overcome it and move on enjoying life.

Life is precious so enjoy it

Love like there is no Tomorrow

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I have been noticing when one is committed to a context of Love and affinity, no matter what happens, no matter how everyone else acts, the one who is holding the commitment toward love and peace will keep their peace internally and will impact the outcome of the interaction.

I have worked with couples whom one person has been committed to holding the love, listening from the heart, talking from an open and caring place to a mate who has been raging.  The result was an amazing dialogue with more understanding and depth.  I have witnessed political debates when all that mattered was one person listening with their heart to another person being righteous and the outcome was still an unbelievable connection.

It appears that when you commit yourself to an unwavering space of love and affinity, the world could be filled with its own agenda and you will still prevail inside with a peace of mind and a heart filled with love.

Love like there is no tomorrow.

Live as if Every Moment is NEW

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This week I have been working on the concept of being curious and interested.  This week I have worked with people who have lost their interest in their careers, jobs, relationships, and some at their life.

How does one loose interest? Some lose interest due to feeling uncomfortable, anxiety, anger, hurt, shame or guilt in that area. Some lose interest because all is well but not challenging. Some lose interest when something more exciting shows up.

But, certainly, when the interest is gone, the juice, the passion and mostly the wonder of curiosity will be gone.

So, How can you keep the interest going in your work, relationship, and life?  realizing that every minute is new. When you are engaging fully with people and activities, you will experience the relationship fully, you will be present, engaging, and engrossed with all that shows up waiting for the next moment, curious about the next moment in wonder and awe.

Being curious and waiting for the newness even though it appears that day after day it is similar.  Looking for the differences, looking for the creation of something new today within the same structure creates the excitement which keeps you curious leading to being interested.

Live as if every moment is new and filled with the potentiality of a new creation, because, it is!

Say it! Say it Your Way!

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This week I have been away from my usual scheduled life and have been writing for 12 hours a day.  I was struggling when I did not trust myself and my capabilities and kept looking at other writers and scholars.  Although I enjoy learning from all the experts and the masters in the arena of psychology, philosophy, and education, and I know that I have integrated their wisdom and knowledge within me for the past 30 years, I still had to allow myself to trust and share my experience of the past 30 years of sitting with my clients.

We all have something to say. This is very apparent in social media posts. The freedom to have a medium which you could share yourself with others has given lots of people the opportunity to do so.  There is also a sense of freedom that gets created when you are able to share who you are with people.  Remember that the sharing will not be one way, so when you share your opinions, others will also be inspired to share theirs with you. There might be some similarities, some differences, and some oppositions. You can see that in relationships with your mate, family, children, at work, and now in politics.

Maturing to emotional independence is really helpful and crucial when as an adult you put yourself out there and are sharing yourself. Emotional independence meaning for you to own your thoughts, opinions, feelings, emotions, actions and the possible impact that your attitude and sharing have on to others. Also, in receiving other people’s sharing, to be responsible and own your way of hearing, interpreting, feeling, and reacting and the possible impact of that way of being and acting on your life and others.

So, share yourself with people around you. Share who you are, your unique way of seeing things and experiencing the world.  Your way will always be unique to you, it is your signature. Share yourself respectfully. Honor others as you share your thoughts and opinions.  Also, honor the uniqueness of others as they share who they are. Share with kind intentions and receive other’s sharing as kind intentions. This is the way we can connect to each other, built trust and cohesiveness within our families and community.