In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Recovery), Dr. Foojan Zeine speaks to Maryam Zar, an activist, podcast host and the Chair of Westside Regional Alliance of Councils Commissioner and the mayor appointee of the LA Commission on the Status of Women. We will be talking about the pain of racism and the effect of the protests on our community and policy making. Dr. Foojan Also speaks to Billy Manas, the author of Kickass Recovery – From your first year clean to the life of your dreams.Billy shares his road from addiction to recovery and shares great tips for all who want to lift their life.
This week I have been pondering on the notion of how is it that we upgrade many aspects of our lives such as our work, career, attire, clothing, technology, and cars, but many people are stuck in a very outdated way of relating to other human beings. Many people get stuck in their early childhood emotional stages and never develop beyond how they use to treat each other beyond kindergarten, or elementary school, or when they were a teenager. Some people have not upgraded their behaviors from hundred years ago although they insist to have the latest phone or the gadget that comes in the market.
How come?
It could be that people see and experience the new technology, enjoy the experience and see others using it, see the benefits of it, and therefore want to upgrade and be a part of the society that chooses to utilize these new products or styles of living. Maybe when it comes to the emotional and behavioral practices people will only upgrade as the people whom they surround themselves with. So that a community has familiarity in their interactions with each other. Much of people’s behaviors had to get upgraded when they worked in large corporations and had to change their practices at least the 8-10 hours that they are at work, but never transferred it their socialization or their home environment.
What can be done?
An adult state behavior that matches the 21st century can be defined as a caring, cooperative, accepting, kind, characters who can regulate their emotions and can behave in a non-threatening, respectful way with others while negotiating their differences in a respectful win-win way. Each person can first learn and update one’s own state of being, thought form, emotional management, and behaviors, and support their own family and community to upgrade their way of being. It is important to have the intention and the motivation to upgrade our communication skills to match who we are as an adult and to what is needed in a healthy relationship, healthy workplace, healthy community, healthy country, and healthy world. Observe yourself, is any part of your character, thought process, beliefs, emotional state or behavior stuck in a younger version of you? Or an outdated time that is no longer relevant?If your answer is yes, then become intentional about upgrading those parts of you.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (The Power of Agency), Dr. Foojan Zeine speaks to Dr. Paul Napper, a leading psychology and leadership consultant and the co-author of “The Power of Agency – The 7 Principles to Conquer Obstacles, Make Effective Decisions, and Create a Life on Your Own Terms”. Dr. Napper shared in detail the 7 principles and skills that successful people with high level of agency uphold. http://www.PowerofAgency.com. Dr. Foojan also shares some tips about being you partner’s best friend and how to apologize to keep being a best friend. Visit my website – http://www.FOOJAN.com
This week I have been listening to the Unlocking Us podcast and the interview of Brene Bown with Harriet Lerner about her latest book. They talked about apologies. I loved the two-part interview. Here are my thoughts about apologizing:
There are times that we may apologize because we did something or said something that hurt someone. This could have been intentional or unintentional. The responsibility of acting in a way that possibly hurt someone lays on us. I have heard from some people that said “I was hurt so much that I wanted to hurt them back”. or “I just wanted to share how much I was hurt but not intended to hurt them”, or, “I was just being myself and did not know that I was hurting someone”. Regardless of the original intention, a chosen action or reaction by me impacted someone and hurt them, and I need to be responsible and accountable for my action.
We may feel vulnerable, fear of being judged, fear of being belittled, fear of being less than, fear of ego rushing, fear of the other person gloating with pride and ridiculing, fear of being publicly shamed, fear of being wrong, fear of not being credible in the future, shame, guilt, anger, righteous, helpless, or other feelings while apologizing. We will also gain, closeness, restoring trust, intimacy, closeness, honor, integrity, pride, strength, clarity, openness, and a sense of closure and freedom when we apologize.
When I hurt someone, I am being out of integrity with who I am as my best. So it would be very useful for me to apologize to myself and the other person for hurting them. When we consider apologizing to ourselves as well as others, we are also restoring our own dignity and go back toward being whole and complete as a human being who can strive toward the betterment of the self and the world.
May you be free from the need to hurt yourself or others, and free from feelings of fear or guilt by taking accountability, healing the wound and restoring connection by authentically apologizing.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Managing Emotions & Body), Dr. Foojan Zeine speaks to Kameron Monsefi and Hayden Hunzink, two highschool students, and Kiana Hunzink, a university student about how they are handling their emotions in this pandemic stay-at-home era. they each shares from their perspective in what has worked for them and what they want their parents to know. Dr. Foojan also talks to Ellen Meredith, an intuitive and energy medicine practitioner with over 35 years of experience, and the author of the Language Your Body Speaks. www.listening-in.comEllen shared her expertise in how to connect, listen, and care for your body from an energetic medicine.
I have been a witness to and experienced how an intimate relationship or marriage can flourish and last many years. It comes down to the intention of being each other’s best friend forever.
The yearning to be close to your mate can entice you to strive to be your best and promote their best at all times. It is difficult to remain a best friend when you only think of what works for you regardless of what works for your mate. Usually, what works for you is different, and at times the opposite of what works for your mate. At times it becomes difficult to let go of your own need to fulfill your mate’s needs or expectations. At times you would have to become someone new to fulfill your mate’s needs. If you looked at those extensions of yourself as the gift of expansion, then you don’t feel deprived or upset. You will see and experience the changes that you experience as the gift of being together and growing.
The art of negotiation and compromise is essential for this togetherness. To know when it is the right time to move forward and when to set boundaries, to share what your values are as well as hearing your mates values, to listen with your heart and be willing to give the gift of yourself to your mate and receive with gratitude when your mate freely gives you the best of themself. You will have access to experiencing Oneness.
The beauty of an intimate relationship is in being all of you and giving the gift of all of you to another being who is willing to give it all and in between feel the oneness.
May you experience the beauty of feeling the oneness within togetherness.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Reinvent yourself & your business), Dr. Foojan Zeine speaks to Dr. Kanu Kogod, founder and president of Bridges in Organizations, talking about ways to reinvent yourself as you are going back to business or career. www.bridges-in-orgs.com . Dr. Zeine also speaks to Dr. Ali Asadi, business coach and international speaker and the author of 1000 tips and tools from small business success. Ali shares with us many great tips to fail proof your business. www.aasadi.com
This week I have been working with many people who are having major conversations within their relationships.
Some have gotten so much closer to each other that their love has rekindled. I kept hearing this phrase that we used to be ships passing at night, and now we actually converse, look at each other’s eyes, watch movies, eat dinner together, and feel closer to each other like the beginning of our marriage.
Some relationships are suffering, every movement, every body language expression, every word, and tonality heard gets on the nerve of the other and escalates the fight. Since they have to be within the same space while they are agitated, it leads to more escalation and threats of getting separated or divorce.
Lots of affairs have become revealed since the couple sees each other more often and have become more in tune with the behavior and more access to each other’s phone or computer where the evidence of the extra-marital relationship gets revealed, creating devastation within the relationship and the family.
Some couples are reporting to have better sexual experience since they are less tired, well-rested, and feel closer to each other. Some have stopped having sex since they fight a lot. Some have lost their desire for sex since they see each other too much and their instinct to hunt has been minimized.
This has become the 6th or 7th week that couples and families have been in a shelter in place which is intensifying the family dynamics.
How are you handling your intimate relationship?
What stresses do you experience in your relationship?
How do you contribute to elevating the stress in your relationship?
How do you deescalate the tension in your relationship?
How do you promote Love & Peace in your relationship?
How do you keep the passion and eroticism alive in your relationship?
You play a big part in creating a great relationship. Observing your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and intentions will help you navigate your state of being and actions toward a relationship that you desire. Be intentional with your relationship.
In this segment of Inner Voice – Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan on KMET 1490 AM / ABC News Radio (Protect & Care for yourself), Dr. Foojan Zeine shares with you part one of a great conversation with Dr. David Burns, adjunct professor emeritus in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine and the author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy www.feelinggood.com.Dr. Zeine also speaks with Dr. Babak Kateb, a physician scientist and a neuroscientist and the founding chairman of the board of directors & CEO of the Society for Brain Mapping and Therapeutics about how to protect and care for yourself in the Coronavirus epidemic times. www.brainmappingfoundation.org
This week I have been talking to many people who are getting fed up, some giving up, some antsy, many anxious, and some depressed.
I heard the news about Dr. Lorna Breen’s suicide and my heart fell. I have been working with doctors and nurses who are tired and suffering. The daily trauma that they have to endure is horrendous. Watching with powerlessness how their patients are dying is traumatizing. Many of them have thought about giving up, quitting, hiding, or dying and most are hanging in there and finding a ray of hope and meaning to move forward daily to save all those lives that they can. I am so sad that Dr. Breen did not. My heart goes out to her and her family. May her beautiful soul rest in peace.
I have been talking to people who financially have been devastated and have no idea what is in front of them. Watching the family come together and shifting priorities, finding resources, neighbors, and friends helping with food and groceries is heartwarming.
Seeing the power of generosity and love coming together and lifting each one of us up. There is a common obstacle and yet it is affecting each one of us so differently depending on which area of our life is challenged. Feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and grief is a common experience. Connecting virtually has been interesting but not necessarily fulfilling, so people are trying to sneak out to parks, beaches, and even family member’s back yards to have some 6 feet close encounters. Some get furious with others who get close or not wearing a mask. Some still don’t care and will rebel against anything or anyone who will take their freedom away. All and all we are still hanging in there and going with the flow.
The uplifting news and gratitude for all the new positive circumstances are also apparent in people’s sharing. Staying home, taking care of yourself, spending time with family, creating new projects, getting creative, learning new hobbies, getting fit, reading books and much more have been all the fascinating byproducts of these times.
So, Don’t give up, there is so much more waiting for you, and there are so many people that you can support, move, and inspire. You matter.
