Mend Your Heart

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

This week I am observing all the relationships that need to be mended after arguments.
We can see this with the past political climate when family members, friends, neighbors, and even social media followers had a couple of months of volatile conversations.

I also have worked with people this past week that had ended relationships with family members or friends over a heated argument in an impulsive manner and then felt remorse. 

This happens a lot in marriages when people disconnect after arguments and have no idea to repair and reconnect. 

How do we mend, repair and reconnect a wounded relationship?

1. Observe whether you are only interested in reconnecting to prove to the other person that you are right.  Obviously, that won’t work and will only continue to escalate the conflict. 

2. Clear your intentions – What do you want to create at the end of the relationship? What type of quality do you want to have in your relationships?

3. Reflect back to past arguments and behaviors and assess what part you played in the conflict and the breakdown of the communication.

4. Identify which one of your behaviors might have hurt them.

5. Would you be willing to take responsibility for how you have hurt them or have created a disconnect in the relationship?

6. Would you be willing to apologize for your part in the disconnection?

7. Would you consider having a quality relationship worth more than being righteous about your ideas?

8. Would you be interested in seeing the other person’s world and have compassion and understanding for their views?

9. Reach out with the context of reconnection and forgive them for their behavior that has hurt you.

10. Listen, Listen, Listen, first – Share yourself – with love.

We can disagree and have different opinions, and yet connect with each other with love and understanding.  People who report they are in healthy marriages or friendships live this concept every day. We can connect with our similarities and likes, and accept our differences.

To learn more skills of observation and intention creation go to my book “Life Reset – The Awareness Integration Path to Create the Path You Want”. 

Mend your own heart from disconnecting from people just because they are not like you. Open your heart to all. You will enjoy the feeling of love that arises.


About Dr.FoojanZeine

Dr. Foojan Zeine is an International Speaker, Psychotherapist, Life Coach, and the Author of Life Reset – The Awareness Path to Create the Life You Want. She has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She practices in Beverly Hills & San Clemente, California offices, and online. Her expertise is in Intimate Relations and Addictive Behaviors. She has extensive experience treating Depression, Anxiety, Traumas, and Domestic Violence. Foojan is the originator and the author for “Awareness Integration” psychotherapeutic model, which is a multi-modality approach and intervention toward minimizing Depression, Anxiety while improving Self Esteem and Self Confidence. This Method has been published with multiple research. Foojan hosts the “Inner Voice” show in the KMET1490AM/ ABC Radio. She is a guest speaker in many universities including Harvard, MIT, UCLA, USC. She has been a guest in the Dr. Phil show in CBS, Fox, Voice of America Television Programs; KPFK 90.7, KIRN 670AM.
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2 Responses to Mend Your Heart

  1. Shahrzad Varjoy says:

    I just got a divorce after 32 years of marriage. I tried my best to save my marriage, I forgave him every time. On Valentine’s Day last year he packed his stuff and moved to Vegas. We had sold our house and I had to move and find a place to live. My son had just came out and a lot more had happened. He didn’t care and left. I was hurt and I still went after him to bring him back because I thought I loved him. But after he came back I realized he will never change. Should I still forgive him? He had left me so many times, but he always knew I will forgive him.

    • Hi Shahrzad,
      I am sorry to hear that you have been going through so much and that you have for so many years. You can forgive him because of you and not him. Forgiving him does not mean that you have to be back with him. You have taken care of yourself by leaving that marriage, now as part of taking care of your heart, is to forgive him for hurting you and forgive yourself for choosing him or staying in the relationship or all the things that you think you should have done another way.

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