We are all filled with dualities. When those dualities show up in our conversations, others get confused, lose trust, and get angry.
As human beings, we are constantly experiencing dualities in ideas or behaviors. We can be conscious of some of these dualities such as knowing what to eat, or how to exercise, or how to manage time, state that we are committed to doing it, but take no action.There are times that we say our belief about a matter and not be conscious that we do the opposite, such as stating “I am honest and don’t like people who lie”, but lie constantly and have justifications for it.
When our dualities only affect us, we tend not to have the results we want. When our dualities affect others, we lose the quality of our relationships. People can’t count on us, lose respect and trust, hold back and doubt who we are or our intentions. Teenagers start calling their parent “a hypocrite”.
These types of expressions of dualities create many marital arguments. Since a married couple makes many decisions together in all areas of life, clarity and consistency become very important.
Sometimes there is no duality, it is just a lack of clear communication. One part of the thought process has been shared while another part has not been expressed. Which still leaves the listener confused when they see an action that is not based on what they heard or expected first.
Clarity in communication is important, however, the most important factor that would be a prerequisite for that communication is internal clarity. It is the awareness of our different part’s needs, desires, and vulnerabilities that are important. The process of negotiation between the parts facilitates the integration, therefore creating a sense of integrity and wholeness between our thoughts, emotions, and action.
When we become conscious of our impact on our surroundings and watch for other’s reactions to our actions, and seek feedback from others about us, we become in-tuned about our dualities and can begin to integrate our different or opposing beliefs. Our conversations and actions will then be based on a unified inner self. An alignment between our thoughts, words, and actions brings integrity and congruency within ourselves and in relation to others.
For the awareness and integration skills go to my book – Life Reset- The Awareness Integration Path to the Life You Want.