This quote from Thomas Edison “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time” has become relevant this week.
I have been talking to people with major goals in their life who have surrendered to their hopelessness and given up pursuing their goals. Been talking to couples that have been married and have given up on their marriage. Some remain in their marriage but have given up inside. Some give up on relating to their family members. Some not only give up on their body but abuse it. Others have given up on life.
Why do we give up?
Some people have an expectation that life, work, success, or relationships should be easy. So when life brings obstacles in front of them, they get perturbed and give up. Many times people see other people’s success and assume that they made it effortlessly in one night and rarely acknowledge all the years and sweat and tears that took to get there.
There are people who will try a couple of times and then stop believing in themselves. They doubt their abilities and go into a state of powerlessness. It may be that they are in need of additional skills that would get them closer to their goal, but they only try what is comfortable or available. Learning from people who are successful in these areas is important. Seeing what tools they have used and finding out how to obtain those skills are the way to go.
When people have made mistakes in the past and felt shame or ridiculed by them have difficulty moving forward or take a risk. Most of the time they are afraid of making a mistake again and hold back. The anxiety of public humiliation that might be experienced by making a mistake or failure stops them from applying themselves.
There are some people who see themselves as a victim and project that no matter how much they try, someone will ruin it for them and they can never win. Therefore give up a fight that was never there, but only in their perception.
Some can’t visualize beyond where they are and although they give lip service to a future vision and goal, it is difficult for them to change, or can’t see or visualize all aspects of how it would turn out and since they can’t have a guarantee, they give up and stay in their comfort zone.
Giving up on a dream, vision or goal usually creates resentment inside. Feelings of sadness, regret, frustration, powerlessness, and hopelessness creep in. A sense of grief shows up for letting go of a certain future. Most of the time as time passes a sense of regret and remorse about not trying enough follows.
The only time that I know giving up works is when one is giving up an unrealistic fantasy to deal with what is real in the present moment since holding an unrealistic vision will only devastate the person more.
So, set your vision and goal about work, relationships, or any aspect of life, visualize it, identify the skills that you need to have for each phase, timeline it and begin moving forward. When you hit an obstacle, learn from others who have been successful in that area, and pursue it till it is actualized.
For awareness and finding all that might sabotage you from inside go to my book “Life Reset – The Awareness Integration Path to the Life You Want”