Regenerating LOVE

Exploring the idea of regenerating love in our relationship. 

Why would we need to regenerate love?If we really love someone, wouldn’t it just continue the way it is?

Let’s define Love – Webster says: “an intense feeling of deep affection”.  Wikipedia Says: “Love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection, to the simplest pleasure”. I would also add “the unconditional acceptance of the person as they are and wanting the best for that person”. 

Most people get into a relationship with high hopes and a high level of faith and vision to be in love, to offer their best, and see the best in the other person.  As time passes they get to know each other and begin to like or dislike parts of the other person’s character or behaviors. They may start focusing on someone’s negative character in order to change it. When communication is healthy, and they hold the highest respect for their own and their mate’s needs and desires, they will commit to actions that will create happiness and fulfillment within their relationship.  

A relationship can move to an unhealthy stage where people only think of themselves and want to fulfill their own needs vs. looking at the bigger picture of the US and what works for the US and not just ME. When this way of being continues, then love, giving, acceptance, compassion, and empathy begins to subside. People retrieve to their own corners and survive the relationship vs. relating and loving with joy.  Love becomes a habitual, ritualistic, or obligatory concept versus a generative one. I keep hearing “I love him but just don’t like him anymore”, or ” I love her, she is the mother of my children, but just don’t want to live that way”. 

There is also the “taking it all for granted” stage, which could happen to any relationship when someone loses their appreciation and gratitude for every act of kindness that is offered.  When acts of kindness become routine a sense of entitlement begins to emerge and unfortunately, they forget that it is all a voluntary gift and it can be taken away any minute.  If the focus is lifted from appreciating the goodness of what is toward counting all that is lacking, love suffers and gives way to resentment and anger. 
What is generating and regenerating LOVE?

It is when you foster the intense affection within you and give it as a gift to your mate, friend, and family. Some people only know how to reciprocate love when it is offered to them, and don’t know how to generate love inside without the trigger of someone loving them first. 

When it comes to your mate since you would have to share most areas of your life and make major decisions with each other, this gift of acceptance and giving becomes of the utmost importance.  Allowing yourself to share all of you with your mate and offer an allowance for your mate to be who they are with you. Come from all is great with who your mate is even when you don’t like a behavior. Negotiating a corrective action on behaviors can be done much graciously when there is no threat to your mate’s identity and character.  If you make who they are bad and wrong, then they will defend who they are and their behavior. 

Generating Love means filling yourself with love and acceptance and joy and then offering it to others. Every human being nature is capable of experiencing love and sharing it. If something holds you back from experiencing love, then you need to clear it so that you can experience the highest pleasure of life.  

For creating awareness in your life about how you foster, generate, give or receive love  go to my book “Life Reset – The Awareness Integration Path to Create the Life You Want.”



About Dr.FoojanZeine

Dr. Foojan Zeine is an International Speaker, Psychotherapist, Life Coach, and the Author of Life Reset – The Awareness Path to Create the Life You Want. She has a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She practices in Beverly Hills & San Clemente, California offices, and online. Her expertise is in Intimate Relations and Addictive Behaviors. She has extensive experience treating Depression, Anxiety, Traumas, and Domestic Violence. Foojan is the originator and the author for “Awareness Integration” psychotherapeutic model, which is a multi-modality approach and intervention toward minimizing Depression, Anxiety while improving Self Esteem and Self Confidence. This Method has been published with multiple research. Foojan hosts the “Inner Voice” show in the KMET1490AM/ ABC Radio. She is a guest speaker in many universities including Harvard, MIT, UCLA, USC. She has been a guest in the Dr. Phil show in CBS, Fox, Voice of America Television Programs; KPFK 90.7, KIRN 670AM.
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