This week I have been observing the concept of letting go.
Why is it so hard to let go of some people or things and not others? What makes us hold such attachments to one person and not another? How come we hold on to some memory and let go of many more?
I look back at my life and see certain happy memories are there as videos side by side with some sad memories. But what happened to all the other memories that were part of my life? I also noticed that with my clients. There are certain emotionally charged memories from the past that are always there to be returned to, while others do not seem important. It appears that when an event is charged with intense levels of emotions whether positive or negative then it hangs around and other events just get pruned away during our sleep time or just fade away as non-important as time passes.
I also have noticed that depending on the meaning that we have given to the event, the decisions we made about ourselves and our surroundings and others, we give significance to that particular event. The event itself is only the trigger for the origination of our perception. The meaning we give it is the origin of the significance for our attachment.
When we become aware of the significance given to the decision about the self and our surroundings, then we can explore and challenge the decision to see if it applies to the reality of who we are today. Challenging the significance to see if in the bigger scheme of life including our strength, skills, and resiliency we possess, still holds relevance.
So, for example, if you are still holding on to a memory in your childhood about your mom or dad behaving in a particular way with you. Observe what the child in your memory of that event thought and felt about the self and others. What decisions did the child make about the self and others? Is it true now? Based on your skills, strengths, and your daily outcomes, do you see that decision still relevant? If you determine that the decision is no longer necessary and does not hold value for your present life, you may let go of the significance you assigned to it. You may upgrade the decision to one that makes a difference today for you and furthers your life toward fulfillment.
To investigate more in how you have given significance to past issues which may no longer be relevant go to my book – “Life Reset – The Awareness Integration Path to Create the Life You Want”.