I have been witnessing a ray of different reactions to similar events. I have worked with people who have gotten their abnormal radiology tests and have panicked and seen the worst possible scenarios and others who have gotten the same abnormal results and have not blinked. I have talked to people who have been infected by Covid -19 and had mild symptoms and yet panicked and have worked with clients who were in the hospital for the covid, and yet were calm through the process. Seen people who have lost their jobs and can’t sleep at night, and have seen people who have lost their whole business and are working it through systematically.
What is the internal dialogue which creates high levels of anxiety for some people and takes them to the point of panic and paralyzation, versus others who work through the process with a sense of calmness?
There is a negative and catastrophic way of thinking when faced with events in life that feed anxiety and fear. Usually, people visualize the worst-case scenario and stay right at the edge of the fear. This way they attempt to continuously scare themselves as if they are watching a horror film that never ends. This puts a toll on the person’s physiology and runs them down emotionally and physically.
Others will face illness, or a divorce, death in the family, an accident, loss of a job, etc. with a solution-focused mentality. This does not mean that they don’t go through fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, or all sort of emotions, they certainly will have their range of emotions, but allow themselves to obtain information, assess all the information, check their fear with the reality of what is really happening, check their fear about the future with the reality of what is possible in the future, talk to people who have gone through a similar experience and then create a game plan about how to overcome all that has happened to them.
How can we overcome our intense emotions first and then look at what can be done?
1. Acknowledge the unfortunate event that has happened
2. Identify and name the feeling or multiple feelings that have triggered in you
3. Recognize the thought process that triggers those particular feelings
4. Check your thinking about the event with the reality of what actually has happened
5. Check with others around you on how they see the event
6. Check with others who have survived an event similar to yours and learn how they have overcome it
7. Visualize how you would like this event to turn out, make sure it is based on reality and not fantasy
8. Create an action plan to get from where you are to where you visualize to get
9. Identify and name your emotions now while you visualize the end result
10. Write down and create a collage of where you like to end up if and when it is all solved.
You will find your strength, skills, and resilience to work through all that life will bring forth.
May life bring you what you can handle & May you handle all that life brings you