This week I have been observing and working with boundaries in relationships.
It begins with how parents do not create boundaries for their children and don’t ask their children to uphold boundaries. Many parents cross boundaries with their children by having their children sleep in their parent’s bed. They may not knock when going into their children’s rooms and therefore, their children do not learn to knock when they are coming into their parent’s room. They can cross boundaries by negating their children’s thought processes, talking, or directing in a hostile or aggressive manner. Checking their teen’s room when they are in the room is crossing boundaries. Teens taking money from their parent’s room is crossing boundaries.
I also have been working with couples who cross boundaries by checking each other’s cell phone, computer, social media, texts, pant’s pockets, etc. Others, share their most personal experiences in their home with others without getting their other mate’s permission. Others, cross boundaries by making major decisions about their life and implementing it without sharing it with their mate.
Among friends, under the name of caring I have been witnessing boundaries being crossed by telling a friend what to do and then get angry at them when the friend does not comply, and then gossip about it to another friend.
In companies, boundaries are broken by asking employees to do things that are not part of their job descriptions or create relationships beyond co-workers or boss/employee.
So, define your boundaries, spatial, beliefs, emotional, or physical boundaries, and communicate them to people around you. Let them know respectfully if they crossed your boundary and how it has affected you. Be aware of other people’s boundaries, if you don’t know what they are, ask. If you crossed some one’s boundaries without knowing, then apologize and promise not to cross it again.
It is important for everyone to have a clear boundaries and share it with others, this habit creates much healthier relationships and much less drama within relationships.